The Importance of Support

You weren't meant to do everything alone.

Over the years as a therapist, I've watched new techniques emerge, strategies become more refined, and old ideas get revisited in new ways.

But there is one thing that hasn't changed since I saw my very first client:

We need people.

A support system can look completely different from one person to the next.

Maybe it's your mom, sibling, or aunt. Maybe it's your spouse and your best friend. Maybe it's a church group, a book club, a neighbor, or a group of people you've met through a shared interest.

Bonus points if you have a mix of these.

There isn't one right way to build a support system.

What matters is having people you can turn toward.

What does a support system actually do?

Support isn't always someone swooping in to fix your problems.

Sometimes it's having someone who will listen while you talk something through.

Sometimes it's getting advice from someone who's been there before.

Sometimes it's someone bringing dinner when you're exhausted, watching your kids for an hour, checking in on you, or simply sitting beside you while you figure out what comes next.

And sometimes, it's having somewhere to go where you can forget about your responsibilities for a little while and just be yourself.

Support gives us somewhere to put some of the weight we're carrying.

That's important in every stage of life.

Some seasons make support especially important.

Parenthood is an obvious one.

There are so many changes happening at once—new responsibilities, less sleep, shifting relationships, and an endless stream of decisions to make. Having people you can lean on can make those seasons feel a little less isolating.

But parenting isn't the only time we need support.

Maybe you're growing your career and feeling like work has taken over your life. Maybe you're navigating a major transition, trying to make a big decision, or simply going through a season that feels heavier than usual.

Having people outside of the stress you're experiencing gives you somewhere to step away from it.

You get to laugh.

Talk about something completely unrelated.

Feel like yourself again.

And sometimes, that break is exactly what you needed.

What if you don't have much support?

This is where things get harder.

Some people are fortunate enough to have family nearby who are genuinely available and willing to help.

Others don't.

Maybe your family lives across the country. Maybe your relationships with them are complicated. Maybe you've moved somewhere new. Maybe you've always been the person who handles things yourself.

And honestly, it can feel unfair.

You might look around and wonder why everyone else seems to have a village while you're trying to build one from scratch.

I don't want to gloss over that.

But I also don't want the fact that support didn't come naturally to you to convince you that you don't deserve to have it.

So where do you start?

We're actually living in a time when finding people has become easier in some ways.

You can search for local groups, churches, book clubs, parenting groups, volunteer opportunities, classes, or communities built around something you're already interested in.

The harder part is often reaching out.

And that can feel really uncomfortable.

You might worry that you'll feel awkward.

You might wonder if anyone will actually want to get to know you.

You might even think, "I'm already overwhelmed. I don't have the energy to make new friends."

That's okay.

You don't have to walk into a room full of strangers and suddenly have a village.

Maybe you invite a friend to go with you.

Maybe you choose something you genuinely enjoy and start there.

Maybe you go to the same coffee shop, class, group, or community event a few times and let familiarity do some of the work.

Support doesn't always appear all at once. Sometimes it's built slowly, relationship by relationship.

You don't have to go through everything alone.

One of the things I often encourage clients to work on in therapy is building or strengthening their support network.

Not because having people around magically makes life easy.

It doesn't.

But because hard seasons are easier to move through when you don't have to carry every part of them by yourself.

We all go through difficult seasons.

We all need somewhere to turn.

And if you don't have that right now, it doesn't mean you're destined to do everything alone.

It may simply mean that your village isn't finished being built yet.

And it's okay to start with one person.